


arsonist's lullaby

by bi_habibi



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, bc i love this trope, found family trope, i love my emo boy zuko and his shitty convo skills, like if i saw him on the street its on sight, ozai is a piece of shit and id beat his ass, the gaang finds out about zukos scar, zuko deserves all the affection in the world okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26452477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_habibi/pseuds/bi_habibi
Summary: There was screaming.Zuko was screaming.He was crying.His head was resting in someone’s lap, he grasped at their clothes, squeezing his eyes shut.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 503





	arsonist's lullaby

They were just doing katas. Practicing the basic forms of firebending as a warm-up into stronger techniques for Aang.It was nothing unusual, they did this every morning since Zuko joined them at the Western Air Temple. Zuko had done these katas his whole life, he could do it in his sleep. Zuko punched his arm straight-out, sending out a stream of fire from his fist, Aang did the same. But, something happened. Zuko wasn’t sure exactly what, had Aang been too close? Zuko was cowering, on the stone floor of the courtyard of the house on Ember Island, Aang was leaning over him, a horrified look on his face.

* * *

Zuko was cowering on the stone floor of the Agni Kai arena, his father leaning over him, a face of hatred and anger. His hand was on Zuko’s face, warm, against Zuko’s tear stained cheek.

“Suffering will be your teacher,” Ozai hissed.

The hand against his cheek was warm, too warm. There was screaming.

* * *

There was screaming.

Zuko was screaming.

He was crying.

His head was resting in someone’s lap, he grasped at their clothes, squeezing his eyes shut. That day played over in his mind, on a loop. This hadn’t happened in a while. Zuko thought it was over, that he was okay. Why was it happening now?

“Zuko, Zuko, you’re okay. Zuko, you’re safe,” Aang said, his voice trembling.

The others were standing around him, shocked. All this time he had been chasing them, they had never once seen him like this. The fingers running through his hair were soft and gentle. Zuko took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He opened his eyes, the sun blinded him momentarily. He blinked and could see Aang looking down at him, the younger boy’s fingers were running through his hair. It was calming, the young monk cradling his head.

“I’m sorry, Zuko,” he said.

“It’s not your fault, Aang.”

His voice sounded hoarse, like it did the day after.

Aang wiped away the older boy’s tears. His hand was trembling. The others were quiet, avoiding his eyes, his scar. Zuko sat himself up, he touched his scar, keeping his eyes downcast. 

“I...I need a moment,” is all he said.

He stood up, rushing down to the beach. He collapsed to his knees by the edge of the water and heaved. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and groaned. He could hear them walking down to the beach, their whispers incoherent.

“Zuko, you there, buddy?” Sokka called out.

Zuko stood, dusting the sand that was clinging to his clothes, “Yeah.”

He turned and saw him, he tried to offer a reassuring smile, judging by Sokka’s concerned look, it wasn’t working. Katara was wringing her hands in front of her, biting her lip, like she wanted to say something.

“I’m fine, now, sorry about earlier,” Zuko mumbled, awkwardly.

“Zuko,” Katara started, “what happened back there…you weren’t fine.”

“It’s over, I’m _fine_.”

“It’s _not_ fine, Zuko. Please, just talk to us.”

Zuko just sighed, rubbing at his scar, “Let’s head back.”

* * *

The rest of the day was uneventful, no one daring to bring up what had happened this morning. Zuko spent most of it withdrawn, keeping to himself and avoiding eye contact. He found himself rubbing his scar more often. He was sitting at the beach again, staring out at the ocean when someone sat down next to him. He glanced over, it was Toph.

“Hey Sparky,” she said, giving him a punch to the arm.

He huffed, “Hey Toph.”

“Wanna talk about this morning?” she asked.

“No.”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence, Zuko watched as the sun disappeared below the horizon, night creeping to cover the sky. The warm air turned slightly chilly, Zuko noticed Toph shiver slightly. He held out his hand, palm up and let a small flame appear. The warmth was immediate, Toph relaxed a bit. 

“What does it feel like?” she asked, suddenly.

“The flame?” Zuko said, confused.

“Yeah.”

“Like a little heartbeat in my hand.”

“Does it always feel like that?”

“No.”

“What else does it feel like?”

“Red, painful, angry, overwhelming.”

“I like the heartbeat thing more.”

“Me too.”

“Remember when you burned my feet?”

“Yes, again, I really am sorry.”

“I know, Sparky. But it hurt a lot. It was scary, not being able to see.”

“I know. Trust me, I know.”

“Being burned? Or not being able to see?”

“Both. I got burned on my face when I was younger, had a bandage around my eye and couldn’t see out of it for a while.”

“I know about the scar, Zuko. Can you see out of it now?”

“Not really. I mean, I can, but not as well as I could.”

“What happened?”

“Hm?”

“How did you get the scar?”

Zuko paused, he didn’t like to talk about it. He stared at the flame flickering in his palm, its warmth radiating gently. Toph seemed to notice the pause.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“What have you heard?”

“A training accident, but I know that’s not true.”

Zuko scoffed, “Yeah.”

There was another pause, Zuko sighed.

“It was my father.”

“What?”

“My father. The scar.”

It was Toph’s turn to be silent. Zuko shifted uncomfortably, not knowing what else to say.

“W-Why?”

“Why what?”

“ _Why did your father burn you?_ ”

“I spoke out at a war meeting. I was thirteen.”

“What the fuck?”

“Language, Toph.”

“Sugar Queen isn’t here and you cannot lecture me, you grew up with sailors. I learned it from you!”

Zuko snorted, she had a point.

“But seriously, what the _fuck_?”

“Yeah. He told me it would teach me respect. But it was just plain fucked up.”

“Toph?! Zuko?!” Aang was calling for them.

“Over here!” Toph called.

Sokka, Katara, Suki, and Aang walked over to them. They offered reassuring smiles to Zuko and sat down with them.

“We missed you two at dinner, we were worried,” Suki said.

“What were you two talking about out here?” Sokka asked.

Toph nudged Zuko, who stared down at the smaller girl. 

“Uh,” Zuko said, he wasn’t sure what to say.

“You’re gonna have to say something, eventually, Sparky,” Toph said.

Zuko rolled his eyes, “Doesn’t mean it has to be now.”

“Sparky’s father is an asshole.”

“Toph! _Language!!_ ” Katara chastised, covering Aang’s ears.

“Well, we knew _that_ Toph. That’s why we’re here,” Sokka said.

Toph shook her head, “No, he’s a bigger asshole than we thought.”

“Toph…” Zuko started.

She turned to look up at him, her gaze met his and for a brief moment Zuko thought she was able to see, with how intense her gaze was. Zuko felt his throat go dry. Everyone was staring at him. Toph looped his arm in hers, pressing her face into his shoulder. He knew she could feel how his heartbeat begun to race.

“About...this morning...I-I,” Zuko took a deep breath, “I had a flashback, to my father.”

Aang took the flame from Zuko’s palm, placing it into his own, grasping Zuko’s free hand with his free hand. 

“I confronted my father, on the day of black sun. Said I was going to join you guys and bring him down. He laughed, then shot lightning at me.”

“He...what?” Katara said, dumbfounded.

Zuko let out a hollow laugh, “He’s done worse, who do you think gave me this scar?”

The group fell into a stunned silence. Zuko let out another hollow chuckle, tears pricking at his eyes. Toph’s grip on his arm got tighter, so did Aang’s. 

“I spoke out at a war meeting, I was _thirteen_ , for fucks sake. He challenged me to an Agni Kai and I said I wouldn’t fight him. So he lit my face on fire. To teach _me_ respect. That I wouldn’t learn unless I suffered. I was _thirteen!_ ” 

He yelled the ending, his breathing shaky. 

“I know what he did was wrong, _I know_ . That’s why I confronted him, that’s why he shot lightning at me. I redirected it at him, he deserved that. But, sometimes, I still think _I_ was the wrong one, that I deserved it, even if for a moment.”

“Zuko...you were thirteen. You spoke out in a war meeting, at thirteen. That’s not wrong, and you’re right, what he did was so wrong. Nothing about that is right,” Katara said.

Zuko sniffed, trying to keep the tears back. Sokka, suddenly, launched forward, wrapping his arms around Zuko’s waist, pulling him into a hug. Katara and Suki dog-piled on, and Aang and Toph hugged him from the sides, the group toppled over onto Zuko, who let out a muffled laugh.

“He was wrong, Zuko. I know you know that, but he was wrong. But now you have us, we’re your family now,” Katara said.

Zuko just nodded as the group continued the hug, until a wave crashed onto them and sent them scrambling back. Soaked and sandy, they headed back to the house to clean up, linking arms and walking back in a warm silence.

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on tumblr @kahtara!


End file.
